Dating The
Aphrodite Way

With Charlotte L. Cressey

To Date the Aphrodite Way is to Date with Dignity and Chart Your Own Course when it comes to love. It is a return to understanding male-female difference and embracing aspects of traditional courtship.

It is about a woman putting God, her goals, and her vision for her life FIRST in how she spends her time. This focus is what magnetizes men (and others) to her.

When the right man comes along to court her, he must prove himself.

She can only attract a man at the level of her highest vision if she puts her energy into becoming the most exalted version of herself.

Then, men and women may both enjoy the fruits of legendary love.

Who is Aphrodite? And, why is she an archetype for empowered dating?

In the mainstream, most people think of Aphrodite (or Venus) as a goddess of love, sex, and beauty. She is, but she is so much more. Aphrodite has been objectified, commodified and misunderstood - as have most goddesses.

As more women have entered the fields of archaeology, history, and religious studies, we have discovered a deeper more authentic version of Aphrodite

What we see in the earliest figures and fragments of story, Aphrodite was just as much a protector of animals, a creatrix Goddess (meaning she birthed the world), a Queen, and she is just as much a stern mother as a loving friend.

Aphrodite has much to teach about holding your own in relationships, attraction, charm, poise, true pleasure, true beauty, and enJOYment of life.

Aphrodite is a virgin Goddess.

Aphrodite knows that seduction is all about being secure in who you are – with or without a man. Being your own woman, taking good care of yourself, and having your “stuff” together. Originally, virgin goddesses such as Aphrodite were not so much celibate as they were self-possessed, independent, and whole unto themselves. A seductive woman knows her own worth. Her dedication to her own passions is part of her allure.
Aphrodite magnetizes by doing her own thing and keeping her focus on her own life. Unlike the overgiving habit many women fall into, Aphrodite relaxes and tends to her own realm - that is much more seductive than scurrying around catering to everyone else.

Aphrodite magnetizes by doing her own thing and keeping her focus on her own life. Unlike the overgiving habit many women fall into, Aphrodite relaxes and tends to her own realm - that is much more seductive than scurrying around catering to everyone else.

Don't give your power or energy away! You are the prize. If he wants to be with your hot self, he had better earn it! Men earn female love and attention through consistent courtship over a period of time.

WWAD? What Would Aphrodite Do?

Would she cast her pearls (or pink diamonds) before undeserving men? No! She waits and only gives of herself if a man has truly earned the privilege of her love, affection, and attention.

Aphrodite would never bend over backwards for a man. If being hard-to-get is good enough for Aphrodite, it is certainly good enough for us mere mortals.

Too often, women give too much too soon and end up hurt. With the so-called sexual liberation movement, women have more freedom to be the pursuer, chase men, ask men out, and have casual sex without reproach. But, does dating like a man really work? If a woman dates this way, how will she ever know if he “had to have her” or is just playing along because he’s flattered?

In 1995, the book The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing The Heart of Mr. Right burst on the scene and became an instant bestseller. In it, authors Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider argue for a return to the more traditional form of dating (man pursues woman). It struck a chord with millions of women, because it felt right and … It works!

As Oprah said, “The Rules isn’t just a book, it’s a movement, honey!” The authors have since published four more follow-up books with their most recent, Not Your Mother’s Rules, teaching women how to do The Rules given all the changes in technology.

Many say it is anti-feminist to expect a man to court you, pursue you, pay for dates, open doors, and initiate marriage. This critique is based on the assumption that these behaviors are grounded in the idea of the woman as the ‘weaker sex’ (dependent) and the man as the leader (independent).
But is it possible that in-fact, these behaviors demonstrate an honoring of Woman that the more modern tit-for-tat way of dating does not?

Is it possible that holding boundaries, making a man earn your love and attention, and being hard to get is not so much about being weak, but is actually a way to maintain your autonomy and avoid draining your energy?


Chivalry is in fact grounded in respect and reverence for women – not because we are “the weaker sex” (that’s a false understanding of chivalry). Women ought to be cherished and celebrated by the men who love them because we are precious.

Most women still desire a steady, loving relationship with a man who is crazy about them. But, millions waste years with men who will never commit or in a marriage that actually diverts her from her own life’s purpose.

Chivalry, being hard to get, and doing The Rules® is actually the most empowering way to find love. It puts power back in the woman’s hands – where it belongs. I will explain why “The Rules” work and for a different reason than you may think.

Certified Rules Coach with Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider

"Charlotte Cressey's Dating the Aphrodite Way epitomizes everything we believe ... that men are biologically born to pursue and that women who provide a challenge by being confident and their Higher Self will attract Mr. Right.   Charlotte excels in teaching women to date with dignity and is a positive, passionate role model for women everywhere!  Her deep commitment to empowering women is evident in all she does." 

-Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, dating coaches and co-authors of The Rules. 

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Online references to my work:

Don't Be A Wimp: Loving Boundaries

Watch Charlotte In Action