Know Your Boundaries to Know Your Full Power
Imposing intentional limits helps you appreciate your full value.
Sometimes the topic of boundaries can be confusing. On the one hand… Thought leaders talk about unlimited potential and how you can manifest whatever you set your heart and mind to. Then on the other hand….There is talk of burn out, exhaustion, and how you have to say ‘No’ to some things in order to say ‘Yes’ to what matters most and be able accomplish your goals.
This information may seem contradictory. You may ask “If I am unlimited, then why can’t I do it all? Why would I need boundaries if I’m an infinite being?” My answer is that you are unlimited, but we have a system of checks and balances in place as humans so that we remain focused on what is most important in life. If we never died, didn’t have 24 hour days, and didn’t have bodies that need rest, it may appear that we could do more. But, maybe not… If we lived in a world beyond time and space and limitation, time would appear so nebulous that we would not feel compelled to prioritize. Limitation is necessary in order to accomplish. We must learn to hold awareness of both our unlimited potential and our ability to contain it to increase our effectiveness in the world.
Think of the way a funnel focuses the energy of water. Without the funnel, pouring water may make a useless mess. With the funnel, you can precisely fill up whichever bottle you choose. You’re like a funnel. You have access to infinite potential. But, in order to make an impact, you need to focus on what is essential and let go of the rest. Your choices reflect your priorities and determine the stream of expression you share in the world.
Do you know the bounds of your self? Are you creating boundaries and a shape to your life to harness your life force?
I’d like to elaborate on unlimited potential vs. limitation and what I mean by these words. I believe you are unlimited and that the universe will organize itself around your intentions if they are in alignment with your highest calling. If you have agreed to things that are not in alignment, they will simply not feel good and you will feel you don’t have time for them.
We have the energy and resources to accomplish exactly what our soul’s calling is. And, our human limitations help us maintain our focus on what is essential. We all have 24 hours in a day, but we’ve also heard that saying ‘if you have something you need done, give it to busiest person you know.’ There is an element of ‘bending time’ that happens when you are in alignment with your purpose and when you have narrowed your scope. You may amaze others at all you accomplish because you are so connected to your purpose. Whereas another person may be pushing, and pushing to try to get as much done as possible and just not have time to do all they feel they are supposed to do. Struggle is your soul’s way of telling you, “seek out another avenue.” There is a difference between a challenge and a struggle and only your discernment will help you decipher which one you’re experiencing. All great things you accomplish will require a challenge. But, perpetual struggle is a sign to change your course.
Finding the balance of your unlimited ,profound potential as a spiritual being as well as your limitations is an ongoing journey of self-discovery unique to each person. When I say limitations, I am not referring to the self-critical false ideas about what you are capable of. I’m referring to what you physically, mentally, energetically, and emotionally can joyously choose to participate in. When we fail to recognize our limitations, we will inevitably end up suffering.
Many of us are raised to believe that we must “do it all” and tend to the needs or demands of others at the expense of our own health. We often say Yes to other’s requests for our energy and time and thereby weaken our funnel. And, remember without the funnel, all you have is a mess.
So, why did you say Yes?
Sometimes, the prestige or glimmer of a person, organization, company, or situation may delude you into committing to something that is not truly in your best interest. Because you are enamored by ‘all that glitters’, you may overlook some glaring inequities in your arrangement. Or, perhaps you so much want to be approved of or be on the good side of someone you’re putting on a pedestal that you may agree to an arrangement that is inequitable. You may have false hope that they will appreciate what you give.
To appreciate means to “recognize the full worth”. Don’t we all want to be recognized for our full worth? So, why do we often settle when our worth is not recognized? Because we falsely believe our value is based on the appraisal of others.
And, that is often what leads us to stay in arrangements that are not in our best interest.. We are seeking someone to ‘recognize our full worth’ because we have not fully recognized it in ourselves. When you know your value and worth, you see things more clearly and choose arrangements that are mutually beneficial. You are not as easily swayed by relationships and commitments that will not give energy back to you.
Why some of us stay in inequitable arrangements:
For those of us who are accustomed to dysfunction and used to having to fight for someone to recognize our worth we acclimatize to feeling uncomfortable. We put ourselves in situations where our value is not appreciated because it is what we’ve become comfortable with. A part of us gets excited by the challenge of trying to achieve the impossible, make someone love us, make someone see our value, or make our employer finally raise our salary to reflect our value.
We may have a martyr mindset or “I can do everything” mindset trying to prove to others that we can do everything – even if they don’t appreciate us. There’s an element of passive aggression because this has become the story of our life – fighting to prove our worth. This is different than saying Yes from a place of generosity and full choice.
This pattern of settling actually reflects a fear of inner work. There’s a part of you that knows you must do the inner work in order to connect with your true value and worth. Cultivating it on the inside is often harder than gaining superficial approval from others. So, we avoid it by agreeing to arrangements that are not mutually beneficial. But, what is it costing us?
Inner practices to cultivate true self-esteem, confidence, and knowledge of your full power will help you in overcoming this so that the boundaries and agreements you make reflect your full value. Recognizing and claiming one’s full worth feels really good.
When you’ve cultivated your sense of value on the inside, you will not settle for undignified arrangements. You will hold your boundaries with ease and grace. When you consciously impose limitations in your life that serve your highest good you will find yourself more able to generate energy toward your intentions.
When each person has clarity on their direction, recognition of her or his full worth, awareness of limitation, and connection to their infinite potential we will be exponentially more powerful as we join together in working toward global harmony.
In Earth Energy Yoga, we cultivate our relationship with the deeper aspects of the self where true power and inner wisdom resides. Please join us for our weekly Monday class!